Please don't take advantage of small businesses

The chances are that you wouldn’t even think about taking advantage of a big business like Ticketmaster or Odeon (however much you may want to)… so why do some people insist on trying it on with what is obviously a very small, independent, non-profit-making business? One that’s run as a labour of love?

I run What The Frock! Comedy, which is a tiny, one-person enterprise that promotes women comedians. My business currently relies on a great deal of generosity and people volunteering their time and skills in order to exist. And one of the most amazing things in the 18 months or so since I started What The Frock! has been seeing how willing people are to donate their time and talent. They tell me they do it because they firmly believe that What The Frock! is a strong proposition, and one day it will be a big success. And I love them for it!

But I’ve noticed a baffling trend, especially in recent months, of ill-natured people wanting to take advantage of a tiny business. In ways that you wouldn’t even bother to try with an established business. For instance…

THE HAGGLERS

One woman arrived to buy a ticket on the door. The door price was £12, which was widely advertised. She expressed horror and said she couldn’t possibly afford it as she was on all kind of benefits… Although she’d already let slip that she’d driven over from her home in posh Clifton, and that she was going to the Tobacco Factory Theatre later. She wheedled and wheedled, and in the end I offered her a ticket for £6… only to be told that she had nothing smaller than a £10 note, meaning I let her in for £5 (as I was short of change). 

Seriously – would you try that in The Hippodrome? No. You would just accept that theatre is a luxury and if you can’t afford it, you can’t go.

THE KILLJOYS

Two women once demanded a refund after an open mic act because they didn’t find her funny. (Comedy, of course, is a matter of personal taste.) I politely explained that, along with every other events business in existence, we don’t offer refunds or exchanges, and suggested they stay a bit longer to see the main acts, who have more experience. They declined. I explained that What The Frock! exists to help nurture up and coming female comedians, who are denied a platform by most other clubs. And I also explained that our ticket prices are among the lowest in the city. They became rude. So I paid them off to be shot of them, which is of course why they became rude. 

But would you ask for your money back from the cinema if you didn’t like the first 20 minutes of a film? No. You’d just shrug your shoulders and accept you tried something and didn’t like it.

THE CHANGE OF MIND

One woman arrived at the door with two tickets that she had bought in advance. She said that her friend wasn’t feeling well, so could they both have a refund as she didn’t want to come in anymore. 

No. You wouldn’t buy tickets to the Hippodrome and then ask for a refund because you didn’t feel well on the day of the show. You’d just accept that this happens sometimes.

THE PENNY PINCHERS

"£8 for a ticket! Daylight robbery! You must be raking it in, you greedy cow!" This has actually been said to me. And words to that effect. Several times. And clearly by people who have never put an event on, or realise the expense that goes into it. 

That £8 ticket price goes towards: paying the acts (between four and six per show), sometimes putting acts up in (cheap) hotels, public liability insurance, venue hire, designing posters and flyers, printing posters and flyers, marketing, printing tickets, distributing tickets, website hosting, business telephone costs, petrol costs to get to gigs... and a million other boring things.

Am I raking it in? Err, not at £8 a ticket I'm not, no. Which is why tickets are going up to £10 in June. Sorry about that. But we'll still be cheaper than pretty much every other comedy night in Bristol.

THE 50p FRETTERS

On two occasions, I’ve had tickets bought in advance from people who I’ve noticed live around the corner from me. So I’ve hand delivered their tickets within 30 minutes of them being ordered. Only to come home to an email asking for their 50p postage fee back. Which I returned, although I also sent polite emails explaining that the 50p postage fee doesn’t even come close to covering the combined costs of PayPal, ticket printing, admin etc.

Would you haggle with Ticketmaster over their booking fee (which is close to £5)? No, because they're so big you can't get hold of them. And they'd never hand deliver your tickets within 30 minutes of you booking them anyway!

THE SOMETHING FOR NOTHINGS

Someone filled in our recent feedback survey and, when asked if they thought the current ticket price of £8 was reasonable, they said: “I don’t have to pay as I’m a club member, so I get in for free. Wahey!” That’s true, Square Club members do get in for free – but I don’t get any money from them being a club member, and by coming in for free they mean I’m unable to sell a ticket to someone who would pay, meaning that I'm automatically £10 down. 

On the other hand, there are one or two Square Club members who have chosen to pay because they recognise I’m a small business, they like what I'm doing and want it to succeed. Those people are fab (and they know who they are) because, without anything being said, they recognise that I can't afford to let people in for free.

And so it goes on. These are just a handful of recent examples of the way a small minority of people try to rip off a new business. I could give you more.

HERE’S WHY I CAN’T AFFORD FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY BUSINESS…

What The Frock! ticket prices are among the lowest for comedy in Bristol, especially for a line-up of between four and six comedians a night. While the more established comedians get paid (as they should do), they are the only ones who do. 

My friend who works on the door doesn’t get paid; my friend who takes the photos doesn’t get paid; my graphic designer didn’t get paid for a year and now works for peanuts; my website designer doesn’t get paid; my accountant doesn’t get paid; and many more people who happily offer their time don't get paid…

I also don’t get paid and I work seven days a week, often way past midnight, to make What The Frock! happen. And I do that because I have no other job to pay my bills (having lost my job in November), and because I fervently believe in the importance of what I’m doing. But I’m well aware that I’m only afforded the luxury of TRYING to make What The Frock! work because my husband has a job.

That said, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t believe that one day What The Frock! has the potential to be a strong independent business. And when that day comes, the first thing I will do is find some way to repay the fabulous people who have donated time and talent to help me get there. The people like Gaby, Emily, Kellie-Jay, Hannah, Paul, Paul (another one)… and a whole chorus of other superstars.

NB: I should stress that it’s only a very tiny percentage of audience members who’ve taken advantage (or tried to) of my small business. The vast majority of my audience members are lovely, loyal, friendly and supportive people – many of whom come to almost every show, many of whom send me appreciative messages afterwards, many of whom realise how much hard work goes into doing what I do and even thank me for doing it. And if it wasn’t for brilliant people like them, I wouldn’t keep doing this. To those people, I take my hat off.

WOW, what a weekend!

As I write this on a freezing Tuesday morning, I’m still basking in the toasty afterglow of a fabulously feminist few days.

On Saturday morning, I was up with the fairies to catch the Megatrain to London, where I spent a zinging weekend at the Women Of the World Festival (WOW) at the Southbank Centre. On the train up I was reading a review copy of the forthcoming Virago anthology Fifty Shades of Feminism, which had only arrived the day before, and in the evening I watched Made In Dagenham in my mini B&B room. I was Not Doing Feminism By Halves. No, siree.

Being at WOW was a wonderful experience. 2013 marked the third WOW festival but the first that I’d attended, and my reason for going was that the women’s comedy event I run, WhatThe Frock! Comedy, had been invited to put on a show in the Royal Festival Hall’s ballroom on the Sunday afternoon. That wasn’t an opportunity I was going to say ‘no’ to. Putting on a show (only our sixth ever) to 500+ people in the UK’s biggest arts centre? Err, yes please.

I headed up a day early to make the most of the festival and to see as much as possible. I lived in London for most of my 20s and still feel very fond of the place, so it’s always nice to have an excuse to go back. The Southbank Centre was somewhere I spent a lot of time in my London years as I both lived and worked nearby, plus I love the heritage of the place and the reasons why it was created in the first place.

To see the buildings (Royal Festival Hall and Queen Elizabeth Hall) filled to the rafters with women-friendly stalls and events promoting women in business, women in comedy, women in fashion, women in charities… was brilliant. The buzz in the whole centre was electric, and the atmosphere was nothing but warm, welcoming and inclusive.

I saw several talks over the two days, but with up to 10 events happening simultaneously, I inevitably also missed a great deal. But I did catch a brilliant session celebrating women who don’t have children (whether by choice or by circumstance); debating the outcome of the Levenson Report into how the media continues to view women; the brilliance of Jane Austen. I saw Ruby Wax’s soloshow Losing It, in which she talks frankly and hilariously about her very real mental breakdown and ongoing problems with depression. And it was great to finally see Michael Kaufman talk, having interviewed him a few years previously for his book A Guy’s Guide To Feminism – and he didn’t disappoint.

All three pictures, copyright Southbank Centre

Of course, my main focus was putting on the What The Frock! Comedy show on the Sunday afternoon. With a one-hour timeslot, I’d booked Rosie Wilby as MC, and Shazia Mirza and Danielle Ward for 20-minute slots. It seemed a tough call – the ballroom turned out to be not a ‘room’ but a huge sunken space within the main foyer, meaning there was a lot of background noise and distractions. But it also meant that as well as filling our 500 seats, we gained about 200 extra audience members who were standing around the edges, sitting on the floor at the front, and pulling up chairs to peer over the balcony to watch. It was fabulous. And where else was I going to put on a show where our ‘warm-up act’ was Woman’s Hour’s Jenni Murray (who had done a piece on What The Frock! earlier in the week), and where we were succeeded by Sandi Toksvig?

The tweets and messages I’ve since received from people in the audience, who previously didn’t know about What The Frock! but who had a wonderful time, and who also discovered one or two comedians they didn’t previously know, has made it all so worthwhile. Putting on any show is never a piece of cake – there are contracts to sign, money to be negotiated, publicity to garner, and inevitably technical hitches on the day. But the buzz of the day and the resulting feedback is what always makes it worthwhile. Even as I sat squashed into an uncomfortable corner of a bumpy coach for three hours going home, I was still basking in the glow of a weekend where the women deservedly won.

So, thank you to everyone at WOW and the Royal Festival Hall for inviting What The Frock! along and for taking a punt on an up and coming comedy event. I had a ball, and whether or not What The Frock! comes back for WOW 2014, I’ll certainly be there, come hell or high water.

Reflections on sobriety

We’re now 37 days into the Give It Up For One25 campaign, with another 88 to go. So we’re well over a quarter of the way there. 

I chose to give up alcohol this year to help raise money for One25 – you can see my initial blog about that here. But in short, the campaign runs from November 4 2012 until March 8 2013 (International Women’s Day), and involves people giving something up for either 125 hours or 125 days. I’ve given up alcohol for 125 days… a period that covers Christmas, New Year and my birthday. Phew!

So far, I’ve survived the first 37 days without succumbing to temptation… something I’m sure my generous sponsors will be pleased about! That’s not to say it’s always been easy: the hardest time was going out to dinner with two good friends, who (reasonably, why should they stop drinking just because I have?) worked their way through a bottle of wine. That was a tough evening…

But of course, my idea of a tough evening without a glass of wine is pathetic when compared to the tough mornings, afternoons and evenings endured by the hundreds of women who One25 will be helping with the sponsorship proceeds from the 150+ people (to date) who are giving up all manner of things for this excellent cause.

After 37 days without alcohol, I thought I’d reflect on what the last five sober weeks have been like. I honestly can’t say that I miss alcohol as much as I expected to, which is a really nice realisation.

Admittedly, it’s not like I drank so much that I feel physically any different. But it’s made me realise how many opportunities there are for drinking alcohol in an average week, which I’d never properly noticed before. For instance, last week I was offered free drinks at a theatre preview, on two occasions when people were getting a round in, and when someone brought a bottle of wine round to our house as a ‘thank you’ present. And that’s without listing times I might have reached for a glass of something while at home, or catching up with a friend in a bar. Which collectively makes me realise how much we rely on alcohol as a crutch for social occasions and as a conversational lubricant.

This has also made me realise how much of a social pariah you are when you don’t drink. Some people who don’t know I’ve given up alcohol for sponsorship have even asked me if I’m pregnant when I’ve turned a drink down! Because it seems we’ve been conditioned so much as a society to look up to alcohol, to aspire to obtaining it, to see ourselves as somehow rebellious for drinking so much of it that we’re proud when bar staff refuse to serve us anymore… yet so many people don’t respect it. For years, I’ve been astonished and saddened by the number of people I’ve met who talk about alcohol as if it’s the greatest thing in the world, or in some way gives them a personality. It isn’t and it doesn’t.

However, I realise this makes me sound boringly sanctimonious, which isn’t my intention. I simply want to say that taking a step back from alcohol has made me take a look at how I drank, and to notice how those around me drink. Like anything, alcohol in moderation is generally fine and I certainly don’t intend to never drink again. But I will definitely think before I drink in future. And I suspect my attitude to buying drinks will echo my attitude to buying clothes: which I don’t buy very often, but when I do I buy good quality ones that will last.

Thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far and helped me raise £365 (£452.50 with Gift Aid) so far for One25. My goal is to raise at least £500 (before Gift Aid), so if you can spare a few pounds to sponsor me I would be hugely grateful. Here’s the link.

Anti-Suffrage Postcards

Probably due to the recent American election, but recently there have been quite a few online articles rounding up various anti-suffrage postcards from the early 20th Century. I've blogged about this previously here, but am also rounding up links to some of the other recent articles to try and collect them in one place. If you know of any more, please let me know in the Comments section and I'll add them to this post.

The Society Pages – Vintage Anti-Suffrage Postcards

Collectors Weekly – War on Women, Waged in Postcards

Man Boobz – Anti-Suffrage Postcard Saturday

Ms Magazine – UK Suffrage Postcards

Ms Magazine – Suffragist Postcards

Ms Magazine – Live Blogging Women's History

Edwardian Promenade – Women's Suffrage Through Postcards

Suffragette Postcards

Alice Suffragette – Postcards

The Pankhurst Centre – Postcards

I’m giving it up for One25

Do you know the charity One25? They’re a small but vital Bristol organisation that helps women exit street sex work and return to a safe and healthy life. They are also the only charity in Bristol that performs this service.

One25 has three strands to its work: night outreach work on the streets, a drop-in centre during the daytime, and one-to-one casework support.

On its website, One25 says: “The women we work with are some of the most disadvantaged and marginalised people in society and are unable to access services that most people take for granted. They have specific needs and specific histories that don't fit easily into generic services. Currently we are the only service in Bristol that provides an essential outreach service for this client group.”

But One25 is woefully under-supported in terms of funding and relies heavily on donations of time and money, and fundraising. I’ve previously supporting One25 with a few raffles at What TheFrock! comedy nights, but now I’m taking part in Give It Up For One25, which involves giving up something for either 125 days or 125 hours.

I’m giving up alcohol for 125 days – starting today and running until March 8 (International Women’s Day). It’ll be a shame for me not drinking over Christmas or on my birthday. But really, put it into perspective – it’s not much of a sacrifice when you think what these women have been through. Many have been raped or beaten, many are drug and/or alcohol addicts, many have nobody other than One25 to show them unconditional love and support. 

You can help in a number of ways:

You could sign-up to Give It Up For One25 yourself (it’s not too late) and raise money through sponsorship.

You could sponsor me on my Virgin page.

You could buy a One25 t-shirt for £12 (plus p&p):

You could buy the One25 Community CakeBook (review here), which includes tasty recipes from everyone including Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Pieminister and the Glassboat. Available through Better Food Company (St Werburghs), Waterstones (Cribbs Causeway or The Galleries) and Foyles (Quakers Friars). Or email josie@one25.org.uk to order by post (plus p&p).

Or you could just donate direct to One25 and expect nothing in return!

‘Votes For Ladies’

Recently, I’ve come across the Bristol Radical History Group, which formed in 2006 to stage talks, walks, gigs and more, as well as publishing an impressive catalogue of pamphlets, all celebrating different aspects of Bristol’s radical past.

So I visited HydraBookshop on Old Market (which grew out of the BRHG) and bought quite a few pamphlets, including Votes For Ladies: The Suffrage Movement 1867-1918 by Sheila McNeil (which I’m told is a pseudonym). 

As the title suggests, McNeil is not backwards in coming forwards in suggesting that the suffrage movement was aimed at middle-class women only, and was alienating to working-class women. These facts can’t be denied – meetings were generally held during day times meaning working-class women couldn’t attend; if meetings were held in the evenings, working-class women had little free time to attend between child-care and domestic tasks etc; middle-class women had servants and nannies to keep the home in order if they were sent to prison, while working-class women had no such luxury; and so on. These are plain facts.

What’s interesting in McNeil’s pamphlet is that she chooses deliberate and firm language to make plain her belief that this exclusivity was wrong and detrimental to the cause. In fact, the pamphlet’s title comes from a quote by Dora Montefiore (who set up a branch of the WSPU in a working-class area of East London, but who campaigned for ‘adult suffrage’ rather than ‘women’s suffrage’), who said the WSPU was not interested in votes for women but in “votes for ladies”. Implying the Pankhursts saw a clear line between themselves and their less fortunate sisters.

Since much literature about the suffrage movement only briefly mentions the exclusion of working-class women, it’s important that it’s highlighted here in McNeil’s pamphlet. I’ve now ordered a copy of One Hand Tied Behind Us by Jill Liddington and Jill Norris, which is one of very few historical suffrage books to focus on this aspect. (You can expect a review of that in due course!)

Votes For Ladies takes an interesting angle on the suffrage movement, and acknowledges that there is a key area that has been often overlooked in most writings about the campaign. And it’s good to know that there is a diligent bunch of people locally who are committed to keeping the socialist past of our female history alive. In 2009, the BRHG even staged a dramatic re-enactment of Theresa Garnett’s attack on Winston Churchill at Temple Meads Station (watch the film clip here).

In which sexism in comedy is mansplained

There’s a lone voice in the crusade to end these beastly women-only comedy nights. And that voice belongs to Sean Ruttledge – a man who, according to his 'official blog' (not that I could find an unofficial one), is “the man of over 9000 voices”. But there’s only one voice coming through loud and clear on his blog, and that is the one saying he knows best and women must be told (especially the ugly ones).

Sean has spent a lot of time and energy on his campaign to put a stop to women-only comedy nights – although why the issue threatens him so much remains unclear. Though he does seem to have made a habit of living his life online, and having a record for the most number of accounts blocked from YouTube (at least 110).

I’ll agree with one of Sean’s points: namely, the absence of women in comedy is a topic that has been discussed to death. See this, and this, and this, and this, and you get the idea…

Sean is so sick of talking about it that he’s written a bog post, stating his views on the situation. He’s called the post: “’Sexism’ in comedy, those poor downtrodden lady comics: The sad plight of female comedians”. I think it’s clear where he’s pitching his stall. But let’s read on because Sean is a comedian by trade and his post is nothing if not entertaining.

In it he says: 

'Self-victimise'. Isn't that another way of saying 'victim blaming'? Regardless, what would Sean expect from 'manipulative' women folk, albeit ones who he acknowledges might be more 'political' then teh menz? Which, hang on, surely suggests women are better informed of social and economical injustices?

Sean goes on to say that he thinks sexism in the comedy industry is indeed rife. But it’s not the men who are being sexist. Nope! It’s the bloody women, with their man-hating women-only gigs who are the sexist ones. (I doubt Sean’s stopped to consider that maybe the women-only gigs were created as a result of the difficulty for women to get bookings, regardless of talent or, obviously, looks – an issue he goes on to discuss later in his post. Yes, really, that's how serious he is.)

Explaining why it is the women (sorry, ‘lady comediennes’ in Sean’s language) who are the sexist ones in the comedy world, Sean says:

Wow! Those are some strong claims in there. Firstly, while it’s true there are a handful of women-only comedy clubs (as in women-only performers, but anyone is welcome in the audience), does Sean realise that – even if they don’t label themselves as such – many of the comedy clubs in the UK are male-only comedy clubs (eg: 60% of the clubs listed in my previous post have exclusively men on their bills tonight - September 28).

Where Sean’s already-weak argument really falls apart is when he starts to discredit various female comedians because of their appearance. Under a photo of Sarah Millican’s DVD, he has inexplicably inserted the caption: “Jo Brand, funny but you wouldn’t shag her”. 

Under a photo of Kate Smurthwaite reads the offensive caption: “Smurthwaite, ‘really pretty’”, implying Sean believes the opposite. But then, Kate is a person about whom Sean has written the following:

From this, aside from the unnecessary rudeness about Kate, we can learn that as well as not liking female-only comedy events, Sean's own leanings are towards right-wing politics, men's rights and he's definitely anti-choice. 

In the meantime, I look forward to hearing from Bristol City Council, who Sean intends to report me to for the crime of holding an event that only promotes women comedians. 

PS: You don't know what mansplaining is? Click here. 

Stop the ‘gender apartheid’ of women-only comedy nights!

From a march demonstrating against ACTUAL gender apartheid

When I began organising comedy nights by women comedians in January, I anticipated a slew of ‘what about teh menz?’ moaning from the type of men who enjoy diminishing the work of women. This is because after several years as a feminist activist, I’ve grown used to hearing the same arguments about how downtrodden men are and why aren’t feminists campaigning about that?

However, regarding the comedy nights, I received only one comment from one man suggesting that perhaps it was ‘patronising’ to put on a comedy night featuring women comedians. He is entitled to his opinion, but because the other 99% of the women and men who were aware of the event were 100% supportive, enthusiastic and bought tickets in droves, I decided to push on and launch What The Frock! anyway.

And launch it did, with a sold-out event in May. It’s become such a success that What The Frock! is going monthly from January, and almost every day I get requests from people (even, gasp, men) to bring What The Frock! to their city.

TNT Comedy (above) is connected to Sean Ruttledge, who performs at some of their gigs and promotes some of their gigs online. After I blocked TNT Comedy, Sean started tweeting me from another account (below), although denies he is the same person.

That said, in the last few days, there’s been a lone internet crusader (see screengrabs above) who is banging the gong about the ‘gender apartheid’, ‘sexism’ and ‘misandry’ of What The Frock!, because it is only promoting women comedians. His main bone of contention seems to be that there are, in name, no comedy nights featuring only male comedians. (NB: You may need to read that sentence again to be sure you read it right.) OK? Now, please read on for the hard-to-argue-with stats (although I’m sure one or two will try).

Here come the stats...

Now, I’m going to do a little test. I’m going to randomly search for 10 listings for comedy clubs around the UK who have events on tonight (Friday, September 28) to see who they’ve got on, and see what kind of gender balance there is. I will search for one club in 10 UK cities. To avoid accusations of fixing the answers, I will go to Google and type in ‘[city name] comedy club’, then go to the website of the first listed club with an event on today. The results are alphabetical by city.

• Birmingham, The Glee Club
• Mark Nelson, Ivo Graham, Ben Norris and Karen Bayley
• Men - 3
• Women - 1

• Bristol, The Comedy Box
• Lloyd Langford, Celia Pacquola and John Robins
• Men - 2
• Women - 1

• Cardiff, The Glee Club
• Craig Hill, Mark Olver, Caimh McDonnell and Marlon Davis
• Men - 4
• Women - 0

• Glasgow, The Stand Club
• Brendan Dempsey, Steffen Peddie, Eddie Hoo, Owen McGuire and Susan Calman
• Men - 4
• Women - 1

• Leeds, The Highlight
• Anthony King, Quincy, David Whitney, Fergus Craig and Red Redmond
• Men - 5
• Women - 0

• Leicester, Just The Tonic
• Ian Cognito, Lloyd Griffith, George Ryegold and Jim Smallman
• Men - 4
• Women - 0

• London: The Comedy Store
• Mick Ferry, Jeff Innocent, Ian Stone, Tom Stade and Paul Sinha
• Men - 5
• Women - 0

• Manchester: The Comedy Store
• John Moloney, Markus Birdman, Mark Maier, John Lynn and Andrew Ryan
• Men - 5
• Women - 0

• Nottingham is in the middle of the Nottingham Comedy Festival
• Today they have: Dave Fulton, Elis James, Maff Brown and John Hastings at one event. Simon Bligh, Steve Shanyaski, David Hadingham and Andrew Stanley at a second event. A third event is a one-person show by Sally-Anne Hayward
• Men - 8
• Women - 1

• Portsmouth, Jongleurs 
• Ryan McDonnell, Paul Garvey, Bryan Lacey and Daliso Chaponda
• Men - 4
• Women - 0

So, of that straw poll from 10 randomly selected clubs, there are a total of 48 comedians performing. 

Of those 48 comedians, 44 are men and four are women. 

Of those 10 clubs, six have zero women on the bill at all, and the four that do have women on the bill have just one woman each (alongside a proportionally greater number of male comedians). 

In only one instance is a woman headlining (Sally-Anne Hayward), and that is because she is doing a one-person show!

So, dear doubters and hard-done-by men, tell me again that there are no men-only comedy clubs in the UK. 

And tell me again that it is ‘sexist’ to have brands such as Funny Women, Laughing Cows, What TheFrock! etc that promote women comedians. 

And please try harder to make your arguments for ‘misandry’ stand up straight. Because based on the solid figures above, your arguments are as limp as (skips over obvious analogy), err, bizkits.

Please note: the term ‘gender apartheid’ used in this context (eg this article) is extremely offensive considering the term's actual meaning. That is the economic and social sexual discrimination of women in the non-Western world, including the practices of legally killing adulterous wives in Syria and Haiti, wife beating in Nigeria, and legal kidnapping and marriage of women in Guatemala and Lebanon. So please think more carefully before misusing such an emotive term.

Perhaps those who throw the term ‘gender apartheid’ around like it’s clever or funny should read this article from women in SaudiArabia about what gender apartheid really means. And then think again before using it so flippantly.

PS: In answer to the question posed in the opening paragraph: if you are one of those men who are genuinely worried about how hard done by your gender is, why don’t you mobilise yourself, with some likeminded friends, to take action to raise awareness of the gross inequalities men face in life, rather than expecting us nasty  ‘man-hating’, ‘ugly’, ‘lesbian’, ‘feminazis’ to do it for you? Positive campaigning is an extremely empowering action, and you might realise just how privileged you were in the first place. Now, go and change the flat tyre on my car before you mow the lawn, there's a dear (see screengrab below).

The Exciting Life Of Being A Woman

I’m pleased to be telling you about a recently published book by independent Bristol publisher Hammer/On called The Exciting Life Of Being A Woman: A Handbook For Women And Girls.

Bidisha has endorsed the book, saying: “The Exciting Life of Being a Woman is part of an urgent and wholly necessary movement which reflects millions of women's hopes, fears, jokes, passions, questions, activism and energy in a way which is accessible, enjoyable, stylish and intelligent.”

And feminist legend Susie Orbach says: “This book is full of dos and great ideas to build young women's confidence, and challenge individually and together the pressures that too often undermine them.”

With praise from those two strong female personalities, The Exciting Life of Being a Woman has a lot to live up to. But that’s fine, because it does.

The book is the culmination of a lot of hard work from an enormous collective of women known as the Feminist Webs, as well as Bristolian force-to-be-reckoned-with Debi Withers. This is a cross-generational youth project based in the North West of England, that draws on history, practices and activities to help women of all ages feel empowered to be the people that deserve to be.

You can treat it as a workbook, a discussion kick-starter, an educational resource, a fact-finding mission, a consciousness-raising tool… or anything else. The Exciting Life of Being a Woman is illustrated with ‘spirit women’: women who’ve gone before us to achieve amazingly good things, from suffragette Annie Kenney, to scientist Marie Curie, and musician Yoko Ono (as well as a lot of others). These spirit women help to inspire and inform readers about the potential within themselves.

But that’s not all. The chapters tackle issues including resilience (how to be a strong person), recognising the absence of women in most of history (and pointing out the glaring holes in the history books as a result), inciting readers to peaceful activism (joining marches, setting up discussion groups etc), and so on. In short, The Exciting Life of Being a Woman is a really positive and necessary tool for young women today. The fact it’s largely illustrated with hand-drawn pictures only serves to demonstrate the love and enthusiasm the women at Feminist Net have for their foremothers and their fight for women’s rights.

The Exciting Life of Being a Woman is the feminist survival manual that I wish had existed when I was a frustrated 15-year-old girl, thinking that I was the only one thinking thoughts that I later realised were feminist ones. It would have made me feel a lot less alone. But the good thing is that this good exists now, and for future generations of young women.

You can buy a copy for £10 (plus £2.50 p&p) direct from Hammer/On by clicking here.