‘How It Feels To Be The Husband of a Suffragette’ – a 1914 guide for men

Imagine the horror. You’re a respectable man with a good job and a nice life and then, blimey, you discover your wife’s one of those ruddy suffragettes.  This 1914 manual for men – anonymously written by ‘Him’ and illustrated by May Wilson Preston (published by George H Doran Co, New York) – attempts to make the suffragette situation a little clearer for the troubled male at the turn of the last century. It's something of an obscure text now, and I can only find reference to it in two other books...

How It Feels To Be The Husband of a Suffragette is not as derisive about suffragettes as you might imagine, and – with the aid of a little out-of-date humour – attempts to portray women’s demands for suffrage in a somewhat sympathetic light.  Although there are still a few areas where the more enlightened reader will flinch. For instance, ‘Him’ refers to his wife as ‘his’ property, and seems somewhat patronising in his condescension that women are not intelligent enough to know how to vote unaided. And, most eye-popping of all is the following excerpt:

You’ll be pleased to know that Him concedes that since women make up about 50% of the population, he supposes they are indeed people. Phew.

Moving on, our author suggests that gun-owning readers have less reason to be afraid of their suffragette wives than their more peaceful brothers, which is strange logic – you’d think the wives would have more to fear from their gun-toting spouses.

Him also asks for some sympathy from both his male readers and his wife and her sisters because he insists a maid washes the daily dishes (rather than his wife), and that he himself takes over the cooking when they are away camping – presumably a barbecuing role that sees him revert to caveman stereotypes.

Mrs Pankhurst is dismissed as “a bit trying at times”, but even so, Him somehow manages – despite all the toss mentioned above – to generate some concealed semblance of sympathy, if not support, for the emancipation of women.

How It Feels To Be The Husband of a Suffragette is mostly interesting only as a historical curiosity. At almost 100 years old, it is a text of its time and mostly of its country – the American campaign having a fair few differences to the British one.  Yet the principles remain the same, and it is interesting to read a man’s view of the fight – especially one written while the demand for votes was still being shouted.  It’s a slim 63-page document of small pages, so don’t expect to learn too much from How It Feels To Be The Husband of a Suffragette, but it’s interesting from a historical and humorous point of view. And lest we forget, the fight for female emancipation was really all about how it affected men!

Jaclyn Friedman – What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

Why didn’t this book exist when I was younger? But at least it exists now!

Jaclyn Friedman – author of Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, as well as a regular media commentator on gender issues – has produced a vital and engaging go-to book to help inform young women to make safe sexual choices, and to feel liberated by the choices they make.

Whether Jaclyn’s readers are yet to embark on their sex lives, in a monogamous relationship, or enjoying regular casual flings, What You Really Really Want (Seal Press,November 2011, £11.99) provides them with the tools to separate what they actually want from what society tells them they want, thereby arming them with the skills to define and create their own sexual identity.

What is most satisfying about Jaclyn’s book is that it succeeds in being non-judgemental. The media, schools and even our families often portray sex as a taboo subject that young women must never engage in for fear of becoming infected, tarnished or ousted as a whore. Yet at the same time, young women are told that unless they dress provocatively and are willing to perform virtually any sexual act imaginable, they are frigid prudes. And nobody wants to be seen as a prude. It’s an absolute minefield, and I can’t say I envy today’s teenagers for all the mixed messages and hypocritical views hurled at them by the world.

What You Really Really Want is a welcome text to help young women make informed decisions about what it is they, as individual people, want sexually. Instructive and interactive, the book uses case studies, quizzes, creative exercises and more to help illustrate the points it raises. Jaclyn writes in a friendly, accessible and un-patronising tone, but because the content provides a lot of food for thought, you should set aside a fair whack of time to fully digest the book and work through the exercises she suggests.

Along with MichaelKaufman and Michael Kimmel’s book The Guy’s Guide to Feminism (also published by Seal Press recently, and reviewed by me here), Jaclyn Friedman’s latest book should take pride of place in the library of every school, college and youth club, and ought to be an essential read for all young women as they consider their sexuality. I wish this book had existed when I was in my teens – it would have made those treacherous years just that bit easier to manage. As it is, this book exists now and thank goodness it does!

In my humble view, teachers and parents will be failing in their responsibilities if they don’t give this book to the young women under their care. So, congratulations to Jaclyn for writing this book, and to Seal Press for publishing yet another essential book for women. There is a microsite for What You Really Really Want here.

Coram Boy at Colston Hall, Bristol

Because essential building works are continuing at Bristol Old Vic, this year the famous theatre is putting on its Christmas show at another of the city’s iconic venues: Colston Hall.

Hot on the heels of last Christmas’s magical Swallows and Amazons, and the exhilarating outdoor summer production of Treasure Island, there was every expectation that Coram Boy (directed by Melly Still) would be just as breathtaking. And, of course, it didn’t disappoint.

Based on the award winning novel by Jamila Gavin, and adapted here by Helen Edmundson, Coram Boy is billed as “an epic tale of love, loss and reunion”. Set in the South West in the 18th Century, the play follows Alexander (George Clark and Freddie Hutchins) on his dream of becoming a musician – despite his wealthy father insisting that the minute Alexander’s voice broke he must leave the cathedral choir and take on the family estate. But after a passionate night with the beautiful Melissa (Mabel Moll and Emily Head), Alexander flees the family home – unaware that Melissa is now carrying his child.

Alongside all this is a much darker plot circling around child-murdering Otis (played by the mighty Tristan Sturrock – who recently delighted as Long John Silver in Treasure Island), who is known as the ‘Coram Man’. He takes the unwanted babies from poor and vulnerable women, who pay Otis in the belief he will take their children to Captain Thomas Coram’s Foundling Hospital in London, where they will be looked after. In reality, evil Otis kills the babies and – with the help of his traumatised simpleton son Meshak (Fionn Gill) – buries their bodies in the forest, pocketing the money for himself.

Taking in a variety of locations from cathedrals to orphanages, stately homes to slave tunnels, Coram Boy follows Alexander and the child he never knew existed as they embark on a remarkable journey, eventually to find each other.

As with Swallows and Amazons and Treasure Island, it is the simplicity of the set design (by Anna Fleischle) that renders it most effective. From some of the young cast being draped over banisters to represent statues of church angels, to the extremely effective interpretation of the sea using just a thin sheet of clear plastic.

The stark messages coming out of Coram Boy – between the beautiful musical interpretations of Handel’s music, and the chilling singing – are the vital developments that have been made in terms of birth control information, abortion advice, and the care of children – both in the family home and by the state. And it is important to remember that while Coram Boy, set in the late 1700s, may depict an era of long, long ago… it was only in the early 1900s that scant information about birth control began to circulate, it was only in 1967 that abortion was legalised in the UK, and the care system still has a great deal of progress to make. Coram Boy is a historical play, but please don’t be mistaken for thinking that the issues it addresses have all been resolved.

Unsurprisingly, Coram Boy comes with a warning that it is unsuitable for those under the age of 12 – and there are some very dark sequences, involving crying babies being murdered, the bedraggled bodies of dead babies being dug up, an agonising and degrading scene where Melissa gives birth, and – most creepy of all – the heads of baby dolls with ghostly bodies appearing from all over the stage.

However, this is an overwhelmingly excellent production, encompassing a cast of 35, and featuring a full chorus, a live orchestra and a host of Bristolian children – who all gather on stage for a spine-tingling performance of Handel’s Hallelujah at the end: I had goose bumps all over my arms. Just wonderful.

I can’t wait to see what Bristol Old Vic will pull out of its talented bag next… And I hope it includes Tristan Sturrock again. The man’s a local legend!

Coram Boy is being performed at Colston Hall until December 30. For full information and to buy tickets, please click here.
To visit the Coram Boy microsite, please click here.

"Miss Rivers & Miss Bridges" – by Geraldine Symons

I was tipped off about this 1970s children’s book by someone on Twitter who knew I was working my way through as many suffragette books as possible. And although Miss Rivers & Miss Bridges by Geraldine Symons (Puffin Books) is sadly long out of print, there are a fair few second hand copies available on Amazon Marketplace at very reasonable prices, so I snapped one up.

Miss Rivers & Miss Bridges is aimed at readers of around 11 years old, and follows teen heroines Pansy and Atalanta over a week in the early 1910s, when Pansy has come to stay with her friend and see the big smoke. Free-spirited Atalanta, who is blessed with a bohemian author and actress for parents, is impassioned by the suffrage movement and determined that she and Pansy will make their mark for the cause, and attract the attention of Emmeline Pankhurst.

Their determination sees them hurl a brick through a window at 10 Downing Street, dive into the Thames, cause a scene in front of the Prime Minister at the theatre, and even end up in the police cells… A busy week by anyone’s standards.

While it is, of course, entirely ridiculous that Pansy and Atalanta could get away with all this without serious repercussion, just suspend your disbelief and go with the flow of these passionate and spirited young women as they illustrate the depth of feeling that exists in people of all ages for female emancipation.

The long-running fight of our foremothers for the vote must never be forgotten, and it is important that our children are educated to know about this important part of their history. And Miss Rivers & Miss Bridges is an entirely readable and fun way of doing that.